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Happy International Self Care Day! I hope you are able to find some time today for YOU. I know so many of us struggle with making time for ourselves. We get so busy, or we think we don’t deserve a break, or we just don’t make it a priority to actively treat ourselves to some self care. So, for whomever needs to hear this today or any day, YOU DESERVE IT! Which is why I’ve put together these 5 ways to practice self care.

When we take time for self care we ultimately make a better version of ourselves. By taking a pause for a much needed mental break, we allow room to become more present with family, friends, work, side hustle – everything! Think about it, when we get SO busy running from thing to thing, we’re usually just thinking about the next thing rather than the present thing. These pauses give us a chance to reset, regroup, and reflect.

Try your best not to buy into the lie that it’s selfish because that’s so far from the truth. Self care is an investment. You invest in your 401k to take care of your future self, so why not care for your present self in any little way that you can? A big part of investing in ourselves is investing in our mental heath – enter self care!

For me personally, I struggle with chronic anxiety and have since high school. Over the years I have had to learn various methods of self care and with that, being more mindful about intentionally setting time aside for self care. I can be a social butterfly, but quickly get exhausted, so I’ve learned to schedule self care nights every once in awhile and they are non-negotiable – I don’t flake out on myself! I encourage you to do the same. Make self care a priority. Today I’m outlining my top 5 ways to practice self care in the hopes that my suggestions will work for you too!

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#1 Journaling

Gratitude journaling is just that – you write down all of the things that you’re thankful for. It is so grounding on days when you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Just sit down and jot a few things that you’re thankful for – it can even be as simple as your cosy bed you get to cuddle up in at the end of the day – but suddenly it puts everything into perspective and you feel a little lighter.

For me, gratitude journaling evolved into list writing or bullet journaling on occasion. Whenever my mind is full of ideas or to-do lists I just write them all down and it is so freeing! It opens up space for me to be able to focus on other things or even conversations I’m having so then my mind doesn’t drift elsewhere.

Of course one of the best parts about journaling is the cute notebooks like this one and this one. I also keep lists in my planners. Yes, plural 🙂 I have one for work and one for my personal life/side hustle. And you can’t have a cute notebook without some fun and colourful pens. Who say you can’t accessorise for mental health?!

#2 Self spa time

Notice I called this section “self spa time” not “spa day”. The key here is that you’re not splurging by going to the spa (although if it’s in your budget then by all means have at it sister!) and you’re also not using an entire day, just a few intentional hours. For me this helps to minimise that nagging, guilty feeling of spending time on myself. I 100% believe that we should never feel guilty about investing time in ourselves and our mental health, but sometimes it sneaks in. Taking these precautions helps me squash that guilt. It may not be an issue for you and that’s great!

For my self spa time I LOVE to light A LOT of candles, I’m talking fire hazard quantities (jk), but I just find candles to be so calming. They really set the tone for my intentional me time. I love the Capri Blue Volcano candles and the Woodwick Candles the most. I think the Woodwick brand is even better for Fall/Winter because they sort of set a fireplace glow mood.

Once I have the right vibe, I take this time to do beauty treatments I rarely ever do – like facemasks. I typically never have the time or patience to sit in a mask, but for my self spa time, masking is perfect to sit in and maybe even meditate while you let it work. It is so refreshing for your skin and so soothing. You will feel like a million bucks afterwards.

Another thing I like to do to pamper my skin is spend a few minutes using a facial roller. I have the electronic version, but a simple roller also does wonders. Not only does it feel SO good (literally it’s as good as rocking a baby to sleep), but it has noticeably improved the elasticity of my skin – much more firm and lifted!

If I have more time, I love to give myself a mani/pedi! For me this just means using a scrub on my feet and then just putting on a fresh coat of polish (I love OPI) on my toes. I’m terrible at painting my own fingernails so I love to use the Impress or KISS press on nails. If I’m splurging I’ll go get a nice dip mani 🙂 Feel free to really get into your spa time. After all, this is YOUR time!

#3 read with a cosy beverage

There’s nothing better than a slow morning with a good book and a fancy coffee or tea. I LOVE to read, but lately haven’t been making enough time to get through my reading list. I realise I really miss it! Just like binge watching your favourite show, it’s such a good way to turn off the brain and get away from reality for a bit. If you’re not a reader then swap this suggestion for your favourite show or even a good movie!

I love to read pretty much everything, but my favourite genres are self-help and fiction. My favourites recently are: You Are a Badass, In Five Years, and The Happiness Project. I could write out all my favourite books, but that would take FOREVER – I see another blog post in my future 😉 If you’re in the market for a new read, I would check out one of those!

I also think a nice hot drink sets the cosy vibe even more! I’m a coffee AND tea drinker, but usually gravitate toward coffee. I recently picked up a milk frother and it is my new obsession. I feel like I’m treating myself to a fancy Starbucks coffee in my own home! I also have quite a mug collection and love to choose my morning mug like I love choosing my outfit of the day! Currently loving this mermaid mug.

#4 organise your space

Organising is SO therapeutic! There’s something about living in a messy, chaotic space that just makes anxiety that much more stressful. I love setting aside time to organise something. A friendly warning though, don’t make this goal “organise the house”, make it much smaller like “organise the desk”. Just a small chunk of time every so often will do wonders. I recently made it a priority to organise all of my beauty and makeup products. I find having the right tools really makes the job so much easier. So I found this rotating organiser to sit on my vanity as well as this small stackable organiser. I also bought these various drawer organisers to keep everything from rolling around inside my vanity drawers. It allows me to still be able to easily see everything without being inside a makeup bag. I also did quite a bit of purging, which is just so cathartic. Get rid of whatever doesn’t serve you anymore!

This fourth tip of my top 5 ways to practice self care is also the gift that keeps on giving, because not only does it feel good to organise and set everything up just how you want it, but it also feels great every single time you come back to use the space.

#5 take a nap or have some quiet time

Last but not least, and also my personal favourite of the 5 ways to practice self care, is napping/quiet time. I am truly the nap queen to the point that my college roommates used to call me Sleep Monster – lol. I used to think that something was wrong with me or that I was super lazy, but the more I analysed why I need this nap or quiet time, the more it made sense.

Stress is exhausting! Anxiety = stress! Plain and simple. I find that even 20-30 minutes with my eyes closed is SO refreshing. I notice this especially on Fridays when the work week is done and we have plans to go out later, I just need a little time to reset and rid myself of any lingering work stress. It’s not laziness, it’s taking care of my mental health. We should never feel guilty or ashamed of this!

If you love naps and quiet time, make sure to set up a comfortable space. Whether that’s your couch, a cushy chair, or your bed. Mine is my bed 🙂 I have the best pillow you’ll ever try and it’s even customisable. I also use a lavender spray to make the room smell and feel so calming. Lighting a candle is also very cosy if you’re just resting and not sleeping. Occasionally I’ll use the headspace app for relaxing soundscapes. This is hands down my favourite way to care for myself. Cosy pjs and slippers are also a must!

self care is self love

I truly hope some or all of these suggestions for 5 ways to practice self care resonated with you! Mental Health Awareness is a cause that’s near and dear to my heart and whatever I can do to help you on a path towards better mental health I would love to do it! Always remember that self care is not selfish, it’s self love – and more than that, it helps you be able to love your loved ones even better! Let me know if you try any of these methods and I hope you have a wonderful International Self Care Day!

xx, Ashley

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It’s National Best Friend Day! This is one of my favourite days because I have some of the best friends in the whole wide world. But it wasn’t always that way! Making friends can be tricky, especially as an adult, so I want to offer up some advice on how to make new friends as an adult!

Being an only child, I’ve always always always wanted sisters, and at some point in my life I just decided that my besties would be my sisters. I truly treasure my friendships and make them a high priority. I didn’t always have this circle of sisters, in fact I struggled to make long lasting friendships in high school. Although I had a lot of friends, none were truly my soul sisters. Luckily that all changed when I went to college and made some of the best friends a girl could ever imagine! We did everything together!

After college we all went our separate ways for a bit, but then somehow we all ended up in the same city within a 1-mile radius of one another! Now, we are all married and whether they liked it our not, our husbands are super close too 😉. We hang out almost every weekend, do exercise classes together, go shopping together, meet for dinner, and even go on vacations together.

We are truly a friend family.

Moving Away From the friend fam

We thought it would be this way forever, but about a year ago, my husband got a job in Chicago and we had to move away from Cincinnati. This meant relocating from both our family-family and our friend family, which was not easy. We tried to see the silver lining that Chicago and Cincinnati are only a 5 hour drive apart. We didn’t think this would be a huge deal, but it has definitely been a lot harder to cope with than we originally suspected. I miss that friend family dynamic more than I could possibly explain!

One thing you never really think about as you go through life is how to make new friends as an adult. Typically, you grow up with people who stick around forever; you meet people at school, your job, or church. But those relationships tend to have developed at a younger age. So when we found ourselves in a new city where we knew absolutely no one we of course wanted to make new friends – and boy has that been tricky!

At this age (30 something) most people have their crew and they aren’t really looking to broaden that circle. I completely get that because that’s exactly how we were back in Cincinnati, but it’s really hard to cope with as an outsider. A year and a half in to our Chicago experience and we are only just now starting to form stronger bonds.

I always joke that it’s almost like dating! I went out to dinner with a few girls on separate occasions and we just did not click, we had nothing in common! So I chose not to invest my time and energy in those relationships just like I would have done if it were a romantic interest. Always be protective of your time and your energy and don’t apologize for it!

Eventually, we have navigated this “will you be my friend” landscape at the ripe old age of 30 😉 So I wanted to share my tips and tricks on how to make new friends as an adult should you ever find yourself in a similar situation one day…

7 Tips for making new friends when you're new in town

Put yourself out there. Don’t wait for an amazing new group of girls (or guys) to seek you out because you’ll be waiting forever. Like I mentioned, most of us already have our circle of besties and aren’t necessarily looking to expand. Go to the block party where you don’t know anyone, find a Meetup group you’re interested in and don’t flake out on it!, mention a team happy hour at your office. Be brave and take initative.
Keep an open mind. Your new group of besties might look completely different from your group back home – and that actually makes a lot of sense! Most of us have had our besties for AGES and when we met we were probably one person that we might not be now. It’s natural to grow and evolve, but that original group of besties grew and evolved with you. This new group did not, so you’re starting fresh. Be open to befriending people with a different outlook on the world – who knows, you might learn something!
Take an interest. If there’s someone at your office or in your neighbourhood that you find intriguing then be sure to take an active interest in their life. Whenever you see them, ask them about themselves, and the next time you see them be sure to reference those tidbits of information that you’d already learned. It shows that you care and grows a thread of trust, which as we know is the foundation of any relationship.
Be selective. (But didn’t you just say to keep an open mind?!) What I mean is that if you have literally nothing to talk about, if you are the only one carrying the conversation or trying to hang out, then that tells you something about the future of this “friendship”. You wouldn’t want a romantic interest to make you do all the work; so don’t let a potential friend treat you that way just because you’re lonely.
Stay attentive and in touch. Don’t just hang out once and then wait forever to make another plan. Keep the momentum going! If you find a funny meme or a pretty dress that your potential new friend might be interested in – send it! Once again, this goes along with taking an interest. It shows you care and that you’re truly invested, which is important because people’s time is precious.
Don’t give up or get down on yourself. It’s not like everyone has a million besties and it’s not like those deep, meaningful relationships happened over night. They took time to develop and flourish. So if you don’t have 5 new best friends in the first month of living somewhere new THAT’S OKAY! You’re not weird or unlikeable it just takes time.
Don’t go home every weekend. This sounds pretty obvious, but it really wasn’t for me at first. I missed my best friends in Cincinnati so much that I drove home almost every weekend to be with them. Well, how was I supposed to make new and meaningful relationships if I was never in Chicago to meet anyone?! I’m not saying NEVER go home, but just space it out. Your besties back home will never forget you and you will never mean less to them just because you’re in a different state. They will understand and even encourage you to try to lay down some roots. Also, when they come to visit you it’ll be much more fun when you have new people to introduce them to!

Give yourself some grace to adjust to this whole new life you’ve made for yourself and try not to force anything. Once you take a deep breath and let things unfold, you’ll find you’ll start to attract exactly what you were looking for all along! Good luck and best wishes, girlfriend!

Xx, Ashley

P.S. Since you’re here and we’re basically besties 😉 I’m sure you love style! Check out my post on Must-Have Summer Style at Target!

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5 Ways to Practice Self Care